American Male Pigs :: essays research papers

Ameri net Male PigsToday in this great uncouth of ours, there is an animal that stalks theface of our land. An animal thatll stop at actu in all toldy little to obtain its nightlygoal. Some women begin unjustly split this animal a Land Shark, along withan assortment of other coloured names. Little do the women of this countryrealize that these animals have banned in concert to form a national coalition. I,along with most males above the bestride of consent, am a proud and very activemember. Our covert governing body is called American Male Pigs. Our slogan toall other males and future males, is                    " meet AMPed"Our purpose is to educate the present, and future male populations, sothat they might be better able to distinguish between the different types offemales and notify all other members of their findings.     Everyone is unique. However, most women c an be herded into three basicgroups. Those groups beThose who do,Those who dont,and those who do, that you wont do.The last group and by far the least important, atomic number 18 those who would doAnything with Anyone that you wont do. These women arnt normally veryattractive. They are more often than not, quite heavy. They are NOT desirable.These are the women, who after youve been drinking heavily all night, at 200A.M. still dont look good. You can see them lined up at the exit to every bar,looking quite sad, lonely and misfortunate at closing time, hoping and praying toget lucky. Unfortunately this hefty flock is usually good in bed. Logic ofcourse would dictate that they would have to be, or else they know they wouldNEVER get anything otherwise.The other type of third class women that arent usually identified untilits too late, are the "FATAL ATTRACTION" type. Theyll do anything you ask,whenever you ask, but in return you unknowingly give up your soul. These arewitho ut a doubt the most hazardous of women, and must be instantly identified.The second section is a strange breed indeed. Those who wont. Wontwhat, they wont do anything with anyone. We have all met these. Usually stuckup, with an air of conceit, grandiosity and Supreme BITCH all rolled up into oneHOT, tight-assed little package. These are not dense to find. Most seem to oozeout of the woodwork. The only purpose we can find for these prudes is to PISSmales off. A lot of these women will talk to you, round might actually date you.Beware of these datesYou buy your date dinner, perchance a show, then when it comes to a kiss